employees are encouraged to maintain
six feet of distance between at all times
but after the work day ends
meet me in my vehicle
tell me about all your bedbug positive patients
and I’ll tell you about how I intubated a baby the other day
didn’t think that was in my skill set
but guess what? perfect shot my first try
and won’t you please train on the ALS trucks yet?
we could be partners again
or, at the very least, shoot each other knowing looks
in the hospital halls, at the Pyxis restocking IV supplies
I used to know your hiding places
but you must have acquired some new ones
and if I ask about you at central,
nobody knows your name
dare I call you my little chameleon
or dare I call you mine at all
this time, I want to do things the right way
so I won’t stay six feet away unless I’m six feet under
run into me at shift change
and I’ll apologize for keeping you late
if I wanted to leave, I would have
is what you said and what I wanted to hear
but it was a Friday afternoon
driving through Martin on the highway
sun streaming through my windows
to the warble of Gracie Abrams on the radio
when I realized I want to fall in love with you
want to drink apple cider at an orchard
wear matching Christmas sweaters
cook dinner with your mother
win your sisters over and over—
but maybe I’m being too forward
with you, I have never been anything else
we can take things slow
if we can only take things at all
I’ve thought about you every day for months
and my father has wanted to meet you for just as long
that’s what I wanted to tell you the other week
but I threw up so many other words around it
you wouldn’t have deemed my airway patent
give me mouth-to-mouth and bring me back to life
I would have said, if only to make you red
there, I’m doing it again
I can’t help myself
.
on the couch, I dreamt of setting
two equations equal and solving for x
I’d almost finished the math
when the phone vibrated by my ear
I wasn’t tired after I read your name
on the screen, long anticipated display
I wonder what you thought
about the phrase
I just like hearing from you
perhaps too bold a statement?
(I was too ashamed to admit
I’ve been accused of being overwhelming before)
perhaps just what you wanted me to say?
and when you referred to the poem
I mentioned a couple days ago,
I thought you’d found mine, the ones posted here
I wonder what you’d think about that, too
I can be overwhelming, sure,
but don’t ever accuse me of not knowing
what I want
and reaching for it
you have your doubts and your beasts, I know
I do, too
but maybe we could drop our demons
in the play pen and grab dinner sometime
(I’m sure they can keep themselves entertained)
and I can tell you all about how lupine follows
forest-fire, an over-used analogy that,
populations thriving where others experienced mass-dying
but I find it lovely anyway, don’t you?
and I fall asleep thinking about you at night
I don’t dream about your eyes, crinkling about the corners
when you smile; I dream about my fishes dying,
running out of water, and setting two equations equal
solving for x, so that I might learn
how to keep you, how to keep me
together
(to-get-her, if I may be so bold to wonder,
is this task on your list of to-do’s?
because I have been wondering for a while now
when will you let me cherish you like you’ve earned?)
Just Thoughts 