i quit coffee

for a challenge, this six year
      prescription, not addiction
a challenge: quit coffee
     no withdrawal symptoms

(lasted two days
the savory scent got to me
hooks in my nostrils
till café con leche spilled
down my open throat)

i quit you

for good reasons, too
      affliction, confliction, restriction–
      not addiction
love is supposed to be
      addicting
      easy easy easy

leaving you
      was liberation, conviction
leaving you
      was late hours
neurons twitching with nightmares
      never dreamt of you before
      both eyes closed
heat on high
      cold sweats
      disturbing sights
      tossing&turning, restless life

never imagined a face
so carefully
your image like an icon painted
on the dark side of my eyelid
i don’t want to write about
your cheekbones, alluring things
or your lips–

have to keep reminding me
      to remind me
you were always
      one of make-believe

have to keep reminding me
      to remind me
you are always
      the subject to a poem
      i don’t want to write anymore

(hours later,
      i wonder if
going
cold turkey
ever
works)

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