head so heavy, his body’s been arrested
to bed, to the routine of things
I’m collecting semi-colons for his well-being
but whenever I cross the room
my thoughts shuffle like bingo balls
it takes me a minute to get back to the train
this ring around my finger so I won’t forget
he asked me not to
he said he couldn’t do this alone
most of the time, he says nothing at all
and I know I never mentioned it
but if he dies, this ring will mean
something far too personal for me to keep
we’re all just a bunch of cats
caught in a downpour, aren’t we?
clinging to screen doors, crying
let us in, let us in
no one’s home to undo the locks
I try not to think about it too much
it’s not so easy for others, though
.
I walk through the woods after sundown
wishing I could send the sensation in the mail
so that he might be able to open his eyes tomorrow:
still; in the middle of the trail; breeze
pushing through the trees; rustling fallen leaves
chirping owls somewhere; overhead
glimpsing fragmented constellations
dark; can’t even see my own hands
I wanted to bring spiders home
I only found slugs instead
maybe I’ll call him and say so
but the image of the house lights
so far away, shrouded in night’s blanket
has me frozen in awe
and what if I could inject this into his veins?
what would he do, paralyzed with wonder—
would that be enough to save
every single one of his cells?
we’re just a bunch of monarch butterflies
raised in captivity, aren’t we?
released in the wild & dismayed to discover
we don’t know the difference between
north and south
we don’t know how to migrate
I try not to think about it too much
it’s not so easy for him, though
.
I’d put his eyes through a microscope
if only to offer a different perspective
he asked me not to
he said he couldn’t do this alone
his vast stretches of silence can be heard across oceans
and I don’t know how to reconcile these contradictions
except to think about lichen:
in this country, we’d be the crustose variety
resilient; even in poor air quality
I’ll be your algae; you’d be my fungus
keep me; company with your brilliant brain
and I’ll convert the sun; into something manageable
we’d be; self-sustaining
you don’t have to talk much
but know, symbiosis is easier
recovering mental wellness is easier
if you do
at the risk of sounding like our boss,
I’ll say it again, let me know
in the meantime, I’ll be collecting
semi-colons for your well-being
Just Thoughts 