I’d rather write about fish than think about you

the chocolate loaches are out early tonight

making arcs in the water like banners

serpentine shapes that would give Lil Cobra

nightmares, despite her snake namesake

you don’t like how I write

poetry after disagreements, after fights

I don’t like how you drink to be drunk,

no matter our social climate

on principle, I buy species in pairs

I know how it is to be lonely

one gourami is flush with eggs

so she approaches her prospective mate

our future used to be broader 

than the next two hours

and I used to write you letters

now, the idea is dull and painful

despite the flitting about in circles,

despite the seductive ritual

her mate refuses to embrace

he turns, leaving her to waste

I mourn our relationship

who we used to be, who we are now

you claimed I was being unrealistic

tell me how wanting contentment is a misstep

Salmon lost his tank mate tonight

now who will sit with him on the cucumber?

the curl of his body, my albino pleco

I couldn’t watch the bowl when I flushed

my love for you isn’t fully severed

but it dangles there, from my body

an appendage that is begging for a choice

to be reattached or amputated

a weak specimen, my mother said

and it made me feel better

some lives are out of my control,

no matter how perfect the water levels

One thought on “I’d rather write about fish than think about you

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