I got drunk on the Thornapple River
with friends and colleagues
she asked if I was okay
so I leaned sideways and dunked my face
in the riverbed, I glimpsed his delicate eyes
through murky darkness, two glowing lights
with the force of his lips, he pushed me upright
I breathed the summer air but
his visage was more refreshing than oxygen or river water
again, I went under
.
with a fishing net, I caught the sun
dragged it from the sky, a stolen star
it fought hard, lashing, hissing, whipping
in the struggle, its tendril branded my right breast
an L for love or loss, I can never tell them apart
.
I wipe his eyelashes aside and make
wishes that he’ll stay
though every night, I am the one walking away
we save lives together and know
how much dying doesn’t matter
we’ve seen the truth
snapped necks & broken chests
puddles of blood enough to flood
a familiar car speckled with bumper stickers
we’ve seen the truth
.
an egg fell out from between my legs
with a shattered shell, a yolk that ran away
another soul the jaws of life couldn’t save
he took me in his arms all the same
wrapped in him
my heart fills with helium
sometimes, bodies don’t behave
.
a bird smothered itself in my windshield
the impression it left resembled his face
I drove home that night with his eyes
beaming me from the passenger side, terrified
his heart in my head, I haven’t been able to think right
.
in two days, I’ll love him
in three months, I’ll live inside him
with Thai food, darting looks, dramatic tunes,
a smile that strikes me blind
“yes,” he’ll sing, “you are mine”
the siren that dragged me under
no hope that I’ll recover
Just Thoughts 